Thoughts on a Thursday

Thursday, October 01, 2020
“You are helping so many women by talking about what we suffer in silence” -Sunny Hostin 

There are about a hundred different things I should be doing at the moment (like writing a blog about how important it is to VOTE and exercise our civic duty and engage in our democracy and be an active and responsible citizen), but I’m stuck here thinking about Chrissy Teigen. I followed her stay at the hospital this week after she bravely posted about complications during her pregnancy. I kept thinking about how rare and significant it was for her to share her stay at the hospital. Chrissy being such a known public figure with a huge platform, I couldn’t imagine it being easy. Especially because when you open up to people, people can weaponize that vulnerability against you and hit you where it hurts most. Now imagine that x 32 million people. 

So I’ve been in deep awe of her courage, of her vulnerability, her openness and willingness to share the very real, natural, and unfortunate complications of her pregnancy. I reckon women in her same shoes feel less lonely with their own struggles right now. This morning, however, the feeling of admiration turned into one of deep sadness as she shared about the loss of her baby. There are simply no words. No words. But my God, this woman is fucking strong. Excuse my French. 

Choosing to share heart-wrenching pictures, raw moments, real emotions, and grieve in public in real time with the world left me speechless. There is something so powerful about her choosing to do so. Not only because it’s so important to normalize the conversation about loss, to fight misconceptions about miscarriages, and to treat miscarriages as an inevitable part of biology (and not a character flaw), but also because it empowers women who suffer in silence. It allows mothers to share their grief. 

My heart feels heavy for Chrissy, and of course John, but it also feels hopeful for those that got to see her story and are able to find comfort, in some way or another. 

Women are scrutinized daily over things we have no control over: miscarriages, fertility, periods, and any other health issue. Judgement continues to heavily surround women's health. The pressure we put on women to become mothers (or be nothing) is dumbfounding, the stigma ends up creating tremendous amount of shame and guilt, which lead to multiple different issues (depression being one). 

Women's bodies don't exist in order to reproduce. We don't fail when we miscarry. We don't fail when we are infertile. And we don't fail when we don't want to have kids. 

I think Chrissy using her platform, in real time, to open up about her loss is extremely powerful. I think people with a platform normalizing women's bodies and women's health issues deserve all the praise. Keep changing the world. Keep paving the way. 

All the love to anyone who's ever experienced this pain. I'm thinking about you today & always. 

Be kind to people, 

-Cabi

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